5 Steps to begin raising righteous children
Recently, I found out that there was a documentary about raising babies to be super smart. Yup, they are going for babies, not toddlers or kindergarteners. People are training their BABIES to set them for future success.
Now, how about training our kids for future success in the hereafter? Before we busy ourselves with all those, it’s about time we start finding out how to do just about that.
1. Rectifying Ourselves
Everyone probably knows that children are great imitators. They follow what they see and hear. So, if we want our child to be righteous, we have got to be the example because they are practically mostly with us during their early years.
This is probably the most obvious, not-so-obvious point. A simple point where parents may know but fail to put it to practice.
If we don’t think that we are good enough, then start working on it and improving ourselves. Even if we do not reach that level of piety, Allah knows we tried and Allah will definitely aid us.
Apart from that, wouldn’t we want the best of the hereafter for ourselves too? We are commanded to not only save our families from falling into hellfire. We have to save ourselves too.
The evidence from this is in the Qur’an of surah at-Tahreem, verse 6:
يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ قُوٓاْ أَنفُسَكُمۡ وَأَهۡلِيكُمۡ نَارً۬ا
” O you who believe, save yourself and your families from the hellfire.”
How do we start to become better Muslims?
- Ensure that our obligations are fulfilled (Solah, Fasting in the month of Ramadan etc.)
- Keep supplicating to Allah for guidance
- Seek guidance through seeking knowledge from authentic sources
- Stay away from impermissible things
- Beautify our akhlak (character and mannerisms)
2. Setting the Environment
Replace the televisions with bookshelves, tablets with books, and music with the Qur’an.
Yes, our baby is still a baby but they are not blobs. They can hear and observe. That’s how they learn before they even know how to even roll over on their tummy. So if we want to raise a righteous Muslim child, keep their surroundings clean from the impermissible things.
Let’s put things to perspective. How do we expect to raise a man who lowers his gaze from women that are not permissible for him, when we literally allow him to do so every day from young, in our own homes, right below our noses? Yes, I’m talking about television. Do something about it before it’s too late.
Let the angels of rahmah (mercy) enter
Yes, let them in. How? By getting rid of the pictures that are hung around our houses.
The evidence for this is found a hadith narrated by Imam al-Bukhari:
“Once (Angel) Jibreel set a rendezvous with the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) but was delayed. This distressed the Prophet so he went out to meet Jibreel and complained to him why he hadn’t come. So Jibreel said: “Verily, we do not go into the home in which there is an image or a dog.”
Due to that, the prophet ordered the pictures to be put down and for the dog to be let out. When angels enter, tranquility descends upon its inhabitants. When angels leave, it is an invitation to the devils and they only bring nothing but unrest.
3. Teaching their First Words
Before we teach our babies to say “Mama” or “Mommy” or whatever we want them to call us, teach them to say, “Allah” with their index finger pointing towards the sky.
In the book titled, “Siyar A’lam an-Nubalaa”, it was mentioned that Ummu Sulaim (a companion of the prophet), may Allah be pleased with her, would dictate his son to say the words of Tawheed before the age of weaning.
4. Teaching the Etiquettes of Eating
One of the first things that babies learn to do is eat. Get them used to their right hand when holding their food and let them hear you say the Basmallah so that one day they will eventually follow us.
5. Making Do’a
Ultimately, guidance is from Allah. No matter how hard we work to raise our children since young, there are many other factors that can contribute to their success or failure in this world and the hereafter.
We are all in need of Allah’s aid. Even the prophets who are the best of people made do’a for their children to be from among the righteous.
هُنَالِكَ دَعَا زَڪَرِيَّا رَبَّهُ ۥۖ قَالَ رَبِّ هَبۡ لِى مِن لَّدُنكَ ذُرِّيَّةً۬ طَيِّبَةًۖ إِنَّكَ سَمِيعُ ٱلدُّعَآءِ
At that time Zakariyâ (Zachariya) invoked his Lord, saying: “O my Lord! Grant me from You, a good offspring. You are indeed the All-Hearer of invocation.”
[Surah Aali ‘Imraan: 38]
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This article is written based on the two books below:
“Raising Children in the Light of Qur’aan and Sunnah” By Abdus-Salaam bin ‘Abdillaah As-Sulayman
“My sincere Advice to Women” by Umm Abdillah al-Waadiyyah
Visit Dar-us-Salam Publications to purchase these books.
Sub haa nallah…. A great content for parents and children… Jazakillahu Khairan sister 🙂