A letter for the mother who has lost her child
For Mothers,  Motivation

A letter for the mom who has lost her child

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Dear grieving mom,

There are no words that can describe the feelings for your loss. Maybe I have never gone through what you went through. But from a mother to another, I feel your pain.

My heart aches for you, grieving for your loss; thinking if I feel this way, how much more painful it might be for you.

Knowing how it felt to be carrying a life in your womb and knowing how it felt to have given birth, the cut runs deeper just thinking about what you just went through.

But I know it’s not the same as being you, having gone through the loss yourself. It’s not the same. The pain is incomparable.

I saw how you gave your child your last kiss, with your tears falling on your child’s cheeks.

As a sister in Islam, I can do no more than just pray for you, and I pray that reading these verses from the Qur’an and hadiths will be a source of comfort for you.

A test from Allah

No doubt this is a huge test from Allah.
As Allah said in the Qur’an, Surah al-Baqarah verse 155 to 157;

وَلَنَبۡلُوَنَّكُم بِشَىۡءٍ۬ مِّنَ ٱلۡخَوۡفِ وَٱلۡجُوعِ وَنَقۡصٍ۬ مِّنَ ٱلۡأَمۡوَٲلِ وَٱلۡأَنفُسِ وَٱلثَّمَرَٲتِ‌ۗ وَبَشِّرِ ٱلصَّـٰبِرِينَ
And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As- Saabiroon (the patient).

ٱلَّذِينَ إِذَآ أَصَـٰبَتۡهُم مُّصِيبَةٌ۬ قَالُوٓاْ إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّآ إِلَيۡهِ رَٲجِعُونَ
Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: ‘Truly, to Allaah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.’

أُوْلَـٰٓٮِٕكَ عَلَيۡہِمۡ صَلَوَٲتٌ۬ مِّن رَّبِّهِمۡ وَرَحۡمَةٌ۬‌ۖ وَأُوْلَـٰٓٮِٕكَ هُمُ ٱلۡمُهۡتَدُونَ
They are those on whom are the Salawaat (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones.”

Allah knows who to test

لَا يُكَلِّفُ ٱللَّهُ نَفۡسًا إِلَّا وُسۡعَهَا‌ۚ

Allah does not burden a soul beyong his capacity

[Surah al-Baqarah, verse 286]

The wonderful affairs of a Muslim

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for his affair is all good, and this applies to no one except the believer. If something good happens to him, he gives thanks and that is good for him, and if something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience, and that is good for him.”
[Muslim (5318)]

How the best human dealt with losing a child

Without a doubt, losing your own child is painful. By the grace and mercy of Allah, He has given us the best of example for us to follow when dealing with such situations. Our Prophet (ﷺ) too lost a child at a young age. He saw his son Ibrahim in his last breath, and his tears shed.

One of his companions, Abdur Rahman ibn ‘Auf said, “O Allah’s Apostle, even you are weeping!”
The prophet replied, “O Ibn `Auf, this is mercy.”

And our beloved prophet (ﷺ) wept more and then he said;

إِنَّ الْعَيْنَ تَدْمَعُ، وَالْقَلْبَ يَحْزَنُ، وَلاَ نَقُولُ إِلاَّ مَا يَرْضَى رَبُّنَا، وَإِنَّا بِفِرَاقِكَ يَا إِبْرَاهِيمُ لَمَحْزُونُونَ
“The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord. Oh, Ibrahim! Indeed we are grieved by your separation.”

[Sahih al-Bukhari 1303, source]

A house in Jannah for those who lost their child and remain patient

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

When a person’s child dies, Allaah says to His angels, ‘You have taken the child of My slave.’

They say, ‘Yes.’

He says, ‘You have taken the apple of his eye.’

They say, ‘Yes.’

He says, ‘What did My slave say?’

They say, ‘He praised you and said “Innaa lillaahi wa inna ilayhi raaji’oon (Verily to Allaah we belong and unto Him is our return).’

Allaah says, Build for My slave a house in Paradise and call it the house of praise.

[Al-Tirmidhi (942), Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 1408]

What happens when your child dies

Rest assured for Allah the most Merciful, has put your child under the best of care with prophet Ibraheem (alaihi salam).

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) often used to say to his companions: “Has anyone among you seen a dream?” and whoever Allaah willed would tell him what he had seen.

One day he said: “Last night two people came to me and made me get up, and they said to me: ‘Let’s go.’ So I set off with them…” He mentioned things that he had seen, then he said:

“We set off, and we came to a verdant garden, in which were all the colors of spring, where there was a man who was so tall that I could hardly see his head in the sky. Around the man was the largest number of children I had ever seen…”

Then among things that the two angels explained to him was: “As for the tall man who was in the garden, that was Ibraaheem. As for the children who were around him, these are all the children who died in a state of fitrah.”

One of the Muslims said: “O Messenger of Allaah, what about the children of the mushrikeen?” He said: “And the children of the mushrikeen.”

[Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 7047]

The children will take their parents to paradise

And finally, the best of glad tidings is for you to hope and pray to be reunited with your child in Jannah insya’Allah.

It was narrated that Abu Hassaan said: I said to Abu Hurayrah:
Two of my sons have died. Can you narrate to me any hadith from the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) which will console us for our loss?

He said: Yes: “Their little ones are the little ones (da’aamees) of Paradise. When one of them meets his father – or his parents – he takes hold of his garment – or his hand – as I am taking told of the hem of your garment, and he does not let go until Allah admits him and his father to Paradise.

[Narrated by Muslim, 2635]

Ibn al-Atheer said: Da’aamees is the plural of da’moos, which refers to a small creature that lives in ponds. Da’moos also refers to the one who wanders about, i.e., they go everywhere in Jannah, entering all places, and they will not be barred from any place, as children in this world are not barred from entering upon women and no one hides away from them. End quote.
[Al-Nihaayah, 2/279, source]

A special do’a for those afflicted by a calamity

Finally, the last hadith that I want to share with you, is a special do’a taught by our beloved prophet () for those who has been afflicted by a calamity.

Ummu Salamah lost her husband whom she loved so dearly, and she recited this special do’a which the prophet taught. And she was given a better substitute than him; she was married to Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ).

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said,

“When a person suffers from a calamity and utters:
إن لله وإنا إليه راجعون‏:‏ اللهم آجرني في مصيبتي، واخلف لي خيرا منها

Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un. Allahumma ujurni fi musibati, wakhluf li khairan minha

We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return. O Allah! Compensate me in my affliction, recompense my loss and give me something better in exchange for it.

Then Allah surely compensates him with reward and better substitute.”

[Narrated by Muslim, Book 7, Hadith 28; source]

 

May Allah heal your pain.

May Allah compensated you for your loss.

May Allah raise your rank in the hereafter.

May Allah reunite you with your children in Paradise.

Yours sincerely,

Your sister in Islam.

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A letter for the mother who has lost her child

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