A letter for the mother who has lost her child
For Mothers,  Motivation

A letter for the mom who has lost her child

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Dear grieving mom,

There are no words that can describe the feelings for your loss. Maybe I have never gone through what you went through. But from a mother to another, I feel your pain.

My heart aches for you, grieving for your loss; thinking if I feel this way, how much more painful it might be for you.

Knowing how it felt to be carrying a life in your womb and knowing how it felt to have given birth, the cut runs deeper just thinking about what you just went through.

But I know it’s not the same as being you, having gone through the loss yourself. It’s not the same. The pain is incomparable.

I saw how you gave your child your last kiss, with your tears falling on your child’s cheeks.

As a sister in Islam, I can do no more than just pray for you, and I pray that reading these verses from the Qur’an and hadiths will be a source of comfort for you.

A test from Allah

No doubt this is a huge test from Allah.
As Allah said in the Qur’an, Surah al-Baqarah verse 155 to 157;

وَلَنَبۡلُوَنَّكُم بِشَىۡءٍ۬ مِّنَ ٱلۡخَوۡفِ وَٱلۡجُوعِ وَنَقۡصٍ۬ مِّنَ ٱلۡأَمۡوَٲلِ وَٱلۡأَنفُسِ وَٱلثَّمَرَٲتِ‌ۗ وَبَشِّرِ ٱلصَّـٰبِرِينَ
And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As- Saabiroon (the patient).

ٱلَّذِينَ إِذَآ أَصَـٰبَتۡهُم مُّصِيبَةٌ۬ قَالُوٓاْ إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّآ إِلَيۡهِ رَٲجِعُونَ
Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: ‘Truly, to Allaah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.’

أُوْلَـٰٓٮِٕكَ عَلَيۡہِمۡ صَلَوَٲتٌ۬ مِّن رَّبِّهِمۡ وَرَحۡمَةٌ۬‌ۖ وَأُوْلَـٰٓٮِٕكَ هُمُ ٱلۡمُهۡتَدُونَ
They are those on whom are the Salawaat (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones.”

Allah knows who to test

لَا يُكَلِّفُ ٱللَّهُ نَفۡسًا إِلَّا وُسۡعَهَا‌ۚ

Allah does not burden a soul beyong his capacity

[Surah al-Baqarah, verse 286]

The wonderful affairs of a Muslim

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for his affair is all good, and this applies to no one except the believer. If something good happens to him, he gives thanks and that is good for him, and if something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience, and that is good for him.”
[Muslim (5318)]

How the best human dealt with losing a child

Without a doubt, losing your own child is painful. By the grace and mercy of Allah, He has given us the best of example for us to follow when dealing with such situations. Our Prophet (ﷺ) too lost a child at a young age. He saw his son Ibrahim in his last breath, and his tears shed.

One of his companions, Abdur Rahman ibn ‘Auf said, “O Allah’s Apostle, even you are weeping!”
The prophet replied, “O Ibn `Auf, this is mercy.”

And our beloved prophet (ﷺ) wept more and then he said;

إِنَّ الْعَيْنَ تَدْمَعُ، وَالْقَلْبَ يَحْزَنُ، وَلاَ نَقُولُ إِلاَّ مَا يَرْضَى رَبُّنَا، وَإِنَّا بِفِرَاقِكَ يَا إِبْرَاهِيمُ لَمَحْزُونُونَ
“The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord. Oh, Ibrahim! Indeed we are grieved by your separation.”

[Sahih al-Bukhari 1303, source]

A house in Jannah for those who lost their child and remain patient

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

When a person’s child dies, Allaah says to His angels, ‘You have taken the child of My slave.’

They say, ‘Yes.’

He says, ‘You have taken the apple of his eye.’

They say, ‘Yes.’

He says, ‘What did My slave say?’

They say, ‘He praised you and said “Innaa lillaahi wa inna ilayhi raaji’oon (Verily to Allaah we belong and unto Him is our return).’

Allaah says, Build for My slave a house in Paradise and call it the house of praise.

[Al-Tirmidhi (942), Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 1408]

What happens when your child dies

Rest assured for Allah the most Merciful, has put your child under the best of care with prophet Ibraheem (alaihi salam).

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) often used to say to his companions: “Has anyone among you seen a dream?” and whoever Allaah willed would tell him what he had seen.

One day he said: “Last night two people came to me and made me get up, and they said to me: ‘Let’s go.’ So I set off with them…” He mentioned things that he had seen, then he said:

“We set off, and we came to a verdant garden, in which were all the colors of spring, where there was a man who was so tall that I could hardly see his head in the sky. Around the man was the largest number of children I had ever seen…”

Then among things that the two angels explained to him was: “As for the tall man who was in the garden, that was Ibraaheem. As for the children who were around him, these are all the children who died in a state of fitrah.”

One of the Muslims said: “O Messenger of Allaah, what about the children of the mushrikeen?” He said: “And the children of the mushrikeen.”

[Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 7047]

The children will take their parents to paradise

And finally, the best of glad tidings is for you to hope and pray to be reunited with your child in Jannah insya’Allah.

It was narrated that Abu Hassaan said: I said to Abu Hurayrah:
Two of my sons have died. Can you narrate to me any hadith from the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) which will console us for our loss?

He said: Yes: “Their little ones are the little ones (da’aamees) of Paradise. When one of them meets his father – or his parents – he takes hold of his garment – or his hand – as I am taking told of the hem of your garment, and he does not let go until Allah admits him and his father to Paradise.

[Narrated by Muslim, 2635]

Ibn al-Atheer said: Da’aamees is the plural of da’moos, which refers to a small creature that lives in ponds. Da’moos also refers to the one who wanders about, i.e., they go everywhere in Jannah, entering all places, and they will not be barred from any place, as children in this world are not barred from entering upon women and no one hides away from them. End quote.
[Al-Nihaayah, 2/279, source]

A special do’a for those afflicted by a calamity

Finally, the last hadith that I want to share with you, is a special do’a taught by our beloved prophet () for those who has been afflicted by a calamity.

Ummu Salamah lost her husband whom she loved so dearly, and she recited this special do’a which the prophet taught. And she was given a better substitute than him; she was married to Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ).

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said,

“When a person suffers from a calamity and utters:
إن لله وإنا إليه راجعون‏:‏ اللهم آجرني في مصيبتي، واخلف لي خيرا منها

Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un. Allahumma ujurni fi musibati, wakhluf li khairan minha

We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return. O Allah! Compensate me in my affliction, recompense my loss and give me something better in exchange for it.

Then Allah surely compensates him with reward and better substitute.”

[Narrated by Muslim, Book 7, Hadith 28; source]


May Allah heal your pain.

May Allah compensated you for your loss.

May Allah raise your rank in the hereafter.

May Allah reunite you with your children in Paradise.

Yours sincerely,

Your sister in Islam.

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A letter for the mother who has lost her child

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  • Nisa

    Salaam, I have my son (Jibreel) and my twins Raees & Zoya..I miss them everyday and wonder when i will be able to reunite with them. since i have lost my childern i feel more closer to my deen. some days are harder than others. I hope Allah blesses us with Healthy Child soon, please keep me in your duas, I understand everyone pain and emotions and i hope and Pray Allah gives you all sabr. ameen

  • Naima Ali

    I lost my baby girl 9 hours after an emergency C-Section in March 2021. Talk about double pain and tragedy. She was my first born and had carried her to term without any complications Alhamdulillah. So, I went from being happy in one instance to extremely sad but Alhamdulillah I had my mother with me. Having lost four children in infancy, she really understood what I felt at the moment. She said this exactly, “What Allah has planned to happen, happened. Do not be sad. Alhamdulillah that you are still alive and God-willingly you will have many more children. It would have been worse if we had lost you. Plus, it is all for the better. She is your intercessor Yaumul Qiyaamah. Alhamdulillah. Imagine if you had formed a bond with your daughter only for her to be taken away from you so suddenly. So thank and praise Allah.”
    Anyway I believe you can really never get over the death of your child. Sometimes the sadness hits you like a strong wave but you remember Allah and the promise that your child is waiting for you in Jannah ,and you forget the pain. But sometimes you are so broken and numb you feel you can no longer function. May Allah give us Sabr and understanding and heal our hearts.

    • Aisha

      Ameen, I feel your pain, I lost my daughter after 4 hrs in Feb. Your mum is so right, and alhumdulillah for everything else that we still have. It took a while for the ‘waves’ to go, and they probably never truly will, but it does get easier xxxx

  • Saj

    ASA, I really liked reading your letter it touched me in ways I can’t explain I lot my son 5 months ago he was 21 years old my beautiful boy he had a learning disability his death was very sudden it’s been really hard coping without him but I know he is in very beautiful place in jannat.


    Thanks for the doas and thought.. really need this one now.. just lost my 10 months baby 26 days ago.. i don’t know how to express my self.. too hurt coz i miss her so much.. she’s so special to me

    • Aaqelah Salojee

      As slm just read your comment i lost my 14 month old baby girl on the 11 March i just wanted to reach out and let you know i am here if you would ever like to speak someone going through something similar

    • Zurina Saville

      SLM,lost my 9 yr old daughter nearly 4 yrs ago on June 13 2017.She had brain cancer.I miss& love u Azraa…

    • Yaum

      Aslm I have just lost my newly and only son I had it’s not even a week, am trying my self to calm down though not easy for me.

  • Mohammed Hanslot

    Thank you for this, the words i. The quran and hadith are so beautiful. It shows in such adversity and such trial as losing a child as such, there is so much mercy and compassion.

  • Ashika

    Assalamualaikum sister i read your article we have lost our six months son Aymen who is the apple of our eyes unable to forget his smile ,we are deeply broken down from inside and weeping everyday . Your post is a great source of inspiration to parents who are suffering like us. May allah reunite us with our child in the paradise. Aameen.

    • mahmuda rumman

      Assalmualikum. I lost my 19 years old beautiful and kind and loving daughter on 11th July, 2021. She was my only child. I love her and miss her. And pray to Allah to get reunited with her after I die. inshaAllalh. I am so heat broken . my daughter name is Mehri. Momma loves you so much my baby

  • Hikmat

    I lost my beautiful daughter few days ago few minutes after birth. I cried and I was shattered. It was my second loss. I lost my first daughter it was a still birth, and then I had a son then I lost another daughter. When ever I remember the losses I weep bitterly. But Alhamdulillah my second child(a son) is strong and healthy. After reading this I am happy and I pray to Allah swt to make us re unite in jannah. Amin.

    • LA IH

      Assalamualikum sister thank y for these post. I Lost my newborn daughter for 8 Month ago. Reading this means a lot to me because i Can’t say anything Else then alhamdulilah for everything and my imaan is only getting stronger, my love for allah swt is the most strong and precious love. I miss her every single second i breath in this life, but i say alhamdulilah everytime and i know Inshaallah we Will Meet agian in Jannah ya rab 🤲🏽 swt. It is so comforting that she is being taken care of by Ibrahim AS that make me live happy everyday and that she is in jannah and is happy and safe.🤲🏽

      • Masooma

        As salamu alaikum i lost my 6 month old baby boy in August 26th he was Totally fine playing with me but suddenly i don’t know what happened he cried very loudly and closed his eyes and stopped crying after that he never cried or opened his eyes.. I’m totally shattered but i believe Allah(swt) has better plan for us..this letter means a lot to me..jazak Allah ❤️

  • Saba

    Jazakallah khayr for sharing this. I lost my newborn baby girl on 23 January, she lived for 3 minutes before she passed on to Allah swt. It is so comforting to know that she is being taken care of by Ibrahim AS and that she is in jannah and is happy and safe. But I miss her so much and my heart is so broken and I hope she knows that I love her very very much and I pray so much to be reunited with her.

  • Ammarah Sidat

    جزاك الله خيرا
    I’d like to mention a kitaab with authentic hadeeit that was given to me at the time I lost my baby girl at 8 week this January

    I would like to tell bereaved parents to consider reading this kitaab

    The Virtue of Remaining Steadfast When Losing a Child-Jalal al-Din Al-Suyuti (one of the authors of tafseer jalalain sharif)

    • Farzan

      Jazakallah sister I lost my three year old boy last year Still can’t get rid of his thounghts and smile.Struggling a lot.

      • Umm Muhammad

        May Allah grant you patience, my dear sister. May Allah allievate your ranks in Jannah and unite you with your son. Aamiin.

    • Umm Muhammad

      Jazakillahu khayr for sharing this. May Allah grant you paience and raise your ranks in Jannah for your loss. Aamiin.

      • Noore salma

        Assalamualaikum sister, jazakAllah for sharing this beautiful article..my patience and belief increased more towards Allah..I lost my 20 year old daughter 15 days back because of cancer and she was my first child..I love her so much…what about young children?Is the hadees same for young children?please reply

  • Samiii

    Assalamu alaikum
    This article give patience to me.2month before my 15 month old baby girl was died .I love her very very much.i feel sooo sad everyday.after reading this message I feel lil happy bcoz I meet my baby girl in jannah and be with her.thnks fr ur information

    • Aysha

      I lost two of my babies..one stillborn at 9 months boy other one after 6 days of birth girl I always pray we reunite in jannah..it comforts me when I came to know their taken care by Ibrahim alayhiwasallam..but I remember and shed tears every day for my babies..

      • Umm Muhammad

        MashaAllah..may Allah grant you strength and patience. May Allah allievate your rank in Jannah and unite with them there. Aamiin.

      • UKTY ZAKYA

        I lost 2 children. A Still Born daughter and a boy after 7days. It hurts. And I can’t stop crying but I am Thankful for this Qadar.

          • Syeda

            May Allah make it easy for you sisters who have lost your beautiful children. My beautiful baby boy passed away 10 hours after he was born. It’s a heart wrenching pain that I cannot describe and it doesn’t seem to get any easier.
            May Allah guide us through this pain, protect us and give us the sabr we need 🙏 💔

    • Noore salma

      Alhamdulillah..I thank Allah subhanahu taala for making me read this beautiful article shared by u sister..I lost my young and beautiful 20 year old daughter 15 days back after struggling 11 months from cancer…my heart is still weeping.. she is my first child and I love her so much…what about young children?is the hadees is same for young children too…please reply

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