How to speak about our child's weakness

What would we do when our child has a flaw that is apparent. Most importantly, how should we speak about our child’s weakness?

Words are so powerful. I think you would already know that, especially when it comes to the things that we say to our children. After all, the words that come out of our mouths as parents, is a form of do’a whether good or bad.

Here is a story that I have recently heard that relates to this. I hope to share it with you with hopes that you will benefit from it too. I heard the story from a lecture but unfortunately, it is not in English so here it is.

An Inspiring story

Muhammad ibn Abdurrahman al-Awqas was not someone who is attractive and was born with a short build that his neck could not be seen, and his shoulders protruding out.

At a young age, his mother realized that others may potentially look down on him due to his appearance. Not wanting this to set him back, his mother gave him a heartful advise that eventually impacted the rest of his life.

The advice

She said, “My son, you will probably be insulted a lot and will be seen of no importance. You will probably be teased a lot and will be looked down upon.

However, this flaw that you have can be covered with excellence, and excellence is found in seeking knowledge of the religion.

Therefore, my son, you must be diligent in seeking knowledge of the deen. When you have such knowledge, your imperfections will be covered and you will be seen as a person of high stature in society.”

The outcome

Muhammad Al-Awqas listened to his mother’s advise and was diligent in seeking knowledge from a young age. He eventually became a scholar and was a well-respected and esteemed judge in Makkah for 20 years. People looked up to him and disregarded his physical appearance due to the knowledge and position that he had.

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SubhanAllah, this is how a parent should be when addressing an aspect that we know our children are lacking in. The choice of words that we use can either inspire our kids for the rest of their lives or put them down.

What can be learned from the story is that when we notice our child’s weakness, we should;

acknowledge their weakness
choose positive words of encouragement
help them overcome their weakness by appropriate advice

There are many more similar stories to this but ultimately, the lesson here is to always choose our words wisely. Our kids hear and most importantly, Allah listens too as a form of a do’a.

So this serves as a reminder for us all to always choose our words wisely whenever we speak to our children or even about our children.

May Allah grant our children success in this life and the hereafter!

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